I told you a long time ago that no one had ever treated me as well as you. No one has ever loved me how I wanted to be be loved or let me love them like I wanted to love…until you. The way you have been treating me breaks my heart.
You ignore me. You treat me like you treated Robin, except worse. How can you feel bad for how cold you were to Robin, and then turn around and do the same thing to me? Why is it okay to do to me what it wasn’t okay to do to her?
The version of me when I am secure with you and the version of me that is constantly on edge with you are basically two different people. For the sake of my immediate future, it would really benefit me to be secure with you. Undermining security in my close, primary relationships makes it really hard for me to function.
This is obviously something I need to work on about myself. However, I have a whole lot to work on over the next six weeks. It would be better if I didn’t have to add fixing my personality to the list.
I’m glad we’re going to meet. It is therapeutic for me to be with you. Thank you for that. I’m upset about the fact that just last Thursday you were talking about how you wished you could get robin on board with you seeing me. Then, you have a big meltdown with Robin Friday night and there we are, Saturday morning, with you telling me the opposite of what you told me two days before.
You have told me a million conflicting things over the past few months, and I’ve been dealing with that. Meanwhile, I have asked you for one thing through all of this—just stay with me. Just love me. I can weather an enormous amount of shit. Like enormous. I just want you to stay with me. And be sweet. I need sweet, baby.
And find it within yourself to give me a heart emoji in the morning. I’m not asking because I want to control you. I’m asking because it makes me really, really happy. It’s just a really easy way to be a positive force in my life. That’s all I’m asking. Please. I love you. There’s not a world where I wouldn’t do it for you. Especially if you asked nicely.
Honestly, I feel like you would be relieved if I just disappeared. I want you to show me I’m wrong. Please. Please be sweet to me.