You need to know that I trust you. I realize I said I didn’t. To me, trust means feeling emotionally safe, and I feel emotionally safe with you. Or rather, I feel as emotionally safe as I think I need to feel.

We’ve discussed before how it’s not possible to give someone your heart with complete confidence that it won’t get broken. If that’s the level of trust that has to be there, then I think it would be really hard to experience love in the way I want to experience it—full throttle.

I think loving entails letting go. I think what happened over Christmas was a betrayal in the sense that what you decided to do flew in the face of what I wanted and what you told me you would do. But, at the end of the day, you changed your mind, and that’s okay. I would never want you to make such a radical change in your life for the sake of meeting my expectations.

I would never want you to not be true to yourself for the sake of me. What I want is you. All of you. I want to love your heart and everything in it: I want to love you in your purest form. I can trust you to the extent you are free to be yourself.

Also, I am sorry for making that comment after you told me about how you sweetly got me a birthday present. The comment about how the present was evidence of your intention to stick around after my exams. What a shitty thing of me to have said in response. I sure am sorry about that. I can be a real idiot.

But I am an idiot who loves you. I loved you reading to me today, you naughty thing, you. I loved our therapy sesh. I loved kissing you on that chair afterwards. I over how you picked my nose for me in your truck. You better save that booger. That is a unique souvenir.

I love you, my sexy confederate. I love you and trust you.