As I’ve mentioned, a year has gone by since we took our Utah trip. I’ve been reflecting a bit on our time together there and our time together since then.
I am self conscious about how absolutely awe-struck I was by the beauty of the desert sky, the rocks, and the heights. I felt like one of those cartoon characters of a country bumpkin, but in reverse. Instead of being amazed by the dazzling city lights, I was taken aback by the beauty of nature.
I realize that Zion National Park is pretty much famous for its breathtaking beauty, so sometimes I feel a little bit silly for making such a big deal out of it. The reason it affected me so deeply is obvious and shameful. I just hadn’t been anywhere like that in so long. I hadn’t been anywhere at all in so long. It sort of knocked me off my feet. Seeing all that beauty was really an emotional thing for me.
So there was the fact that I was there with you and I was already in love with you—I’ll get to that point in just a moment. Add to that fact the other important fact that you brought me there and made that experience possible. I will always be more grateful than I know how to say for that.
And yes, I was already in love with you. Perhaps that’s hard to believe, given that we recognized that we had been an item for a whopping two months while sitting on the bench of a shuttle bus in Zion National Park. Strange as it may be, the love I had for you then is every bit as real as the love I have for you today. It was real and it was already deep. It was as deep as it is now, after everything we’ve been through. It has always been that way for me when it comes to you.
Likewise, my love for you today is as sweet as it was kissing you under the stars. As sweet as it was in the bathtub at the A-frame. It is still so hard for me to wake up without you. I miss your body with my entire body. But now, I can fully appreciate the scope of everything we have and everything there is to come for you and me.
I love you, Craig. I loved you then. I love you now. You showed me the North Star. I never stopped looking that way. I never will.
