I am standing at the precipice of either being with you or losing you. I am so scared of saying the wrong thing. What if there are some specific words you need to hear and I fail to say them?

You are everything I have ever dreamed of and more. I want to be with you more than I want anything in the entire world.

I have been falling further and further in love with you since the day we started talking again. I started this blog just over three months ago, on July 27th, after we’d been talking for just over three weeks. So many words about my love for you and about the wonderment of you and me being together. So many words about the joy and happiness I experience in your company. So many words about the longing and sense of loss I experience in your absence.

So many words since then. All of them true. Well, almost all of them. On July 28, I wrote “we are at the beginning of a long, good, old-fashioned love affair.” Little did I know at the time that our affair would not be long. I really thought I could just live the rest of my life as your secret girlfriend if that was how we could be together. Well, actually, I still think I would do that if that’s what you wanted. But it’s not

I also said in that same entry that wanting you meant wanting all of you, including the things you might bring, which meant I could get hurt. I said bring it, I want you, every last drop. And you really have. I have luxuriated in you.

Since I don’t have the right words, here are some true words. The truth is that I want to grow old with you. The truth is that we are meant for one another. The truth is that I am yours. The truth is beautiful even when it’s hard. And if it’s not beautiful, then it’s at least elegant.

The truth is that I love you.

The truth is that I have so much love to give you.

The truth is that I need your love.