87. The Most Romantic Spa Time I’ve Ever Had

I intended to publish my spa day checklist from our trip a long time ago and forgot to do it. I present it now for your edification.

The Most Romantic Spa Time

  • Place robe and several bath towels in dryer

  • Have slippers ready

  • Put slippers next to bathtub.

  • Light candles

  • Slice oranges

  • Put cloths in boiling water.

  • Remove them into sink, allowing hot water to continuously run over them.

  • Simmer water.

  • Draw bath.

  • Dry brush Craig

  • Tell him how much you love him.

  • Add bath bombs.

  • Add bubble bath

  • Add Craig

  • Tell him how much you love him.

  • Put hot water in bowl

  • Add orange slices

  • Have Craig put head in bowl with towel over his head.

  • Have Craig breath deep for 60-120 seconds

  • Tell him how you love him.

  • Get in bath with Craig

  • Lather him With Morten Brown bath gel

  • Lovingly pat face dry

  • Spray face with cucumber spray

  • Tell him how much you love him.

  • Apply Roots to dry hair

  • Comb through.

  • Double cleanse

  • Spray face with cucumber spray

  • Tell him how much you love him.

  • Apply chocolate mask (3 minutes)

  • Massage face with rose quartz tool,

  • Remove mask

  • Pat face dry

  • Spray face with cucumber spray

  • Tell him how much you love him.

  • Apply drunk elephant glycolic mask (3-5 min)

  • Massage scalp while mask sits

  • Remove mask using hot towel.

  • Pat face dry

  • Spray face with cucumber spray

  • Tell him how much you love him.

  • Apply oatmeal mask (5-10 minutes)

  • Drain tub significantly

  • Scrub with commingle.

  • Fill tub up.

  • Rinse commingle off

  • Add another bath bomb

  • Add more bubbles.

  • Rinse mask off

  • Pat face dry.

  • Spray face with cucumber spray

  • Tell him how much you love him.

  • Apply brush strokes mask (5-10 minutes)

  • Massage neck and shoulders with scrubbee

  • Do lip scrub.

  • Rinse mask off

  • Pat face dry.

  • Spray face with cucumber spray

  • Tell him how much you love him.

  • Apply face serum.

  • Use rose quartz to roll face.

  • Shampoo hair

  • Scalp massage

  • Rinse hair

  • Squeeze out excess water from hair.

  • Kiss him.

  • Tell him how much you love him.

  • Apply hair mask. (10 min)

  • Comb through.

  • Scalp massage

  • Beard serum

  • Face massage

  • Kissing

  • Rinse hair

  • Tell him how much you love him.

  • Drain tub

  • Get towels from dryer

  • Warm more water on stove

  • Put water in a bowl and place bowl on top of towel

  • Add epsom salt to bowl and stir. Add orange/lemon wheels to water.

  • Pat Craig dry

  • Tell him how much you love him

  • Take him by the hand and have him sit so he can place his feet in the water bowl.

  • Allow his feet to soak (5 min)

  • Massage hands and forearms with helping hands.

  • Rub lemon butter into cuticles.

  • Scrub feet with pumice.

  • Scrub feet with 4 in one tool.

  • Massage feet with magic crystals

  • Apply volcano foot mask

  • Pat feet dry

  • Apply foot powder.

  • Tell him how how much you love him.

  • Lead him to the bed

  • Massage him

  • Fuck his brains out.

  • Tell him how how much you love him.