Everything feels like it’s falling apart. I meant it when I said you were enough. But now I think I fucked up and I’m sorry.

There is nothing wrong with you. I love you. I need you. I’m a liar if I say I don’t want to be with you. And if that’s what I want, then that’s a problem. That’s not what we agreed to. it’s not something you can give me. It’s not something I even want to ask you for.

I think maybe you and I just can’t meet at the right place at the right time. I don’t even know if there is a right time. I know that I love you. I will always love you.

I just don’t think I’m going to be able to do this the way we said we’d do it. I don’t think that I can just live in the moment and let the love flow between us and be fucking groovy about it all the time. I cant live off stolen moments. I’m just not that cool, if I’m being honest. And I promised I’d be honest.

I am sorry. I know that you are trying. I just wish you didn’t have to try so hard. I hate being a burden. You know I do. And I really feel like that’s what I’m going to be. I am going to be another monkey on your back. I am already a problem with no solution.

And there’s the thing about me wanting to be with you. That fundamentally alters shit. But I can’t deny it with any amount of sincerity. And it fucking sucks.

And I think you know what it means.