I want to follow up on what I said about not feeling too bent out of shape about the lies I tell T with respect to you and me. I mentioned that Tim felt like an inconvenience to the relationship I have with you. I think a better way to put this would be to say that in my head, the real lies are (1) that my relationship with T is healthy and perpetuated out of love and (2) that I am not in love with you.

In other words, it seems offensive to our relationship for me to lie and say it does not exist. That somehow overshadows much of the remorse I might otherwise feel with respect to my relationship with T and the effect the lying may have on it.